"I'm scared"

My neighbor's little girl has started walking around saying "I'm scared." We are pretty sure she really doesn't get the concept yet of what she is saying, but I can totally relate. I am scared. I have done pretty well the past week or so. I have been feeling fairly confident in the choices that I have been making in regards to all of this BRCA 1 stuff. I think that my fears are beginning to resurface due to the fact that when I look on the calendar, I see my appointment with the breast surgeon and general surgeon are coming up in a week. And based on how those appointments go, I may be picking a date for the surgery. So it becomes real again.

I think that I have become pretty good at pretending normal in the past two weeks. So now in a week I am going to have to face reality again. I want to be brave. I want to be 100% sure I am doing the right thing. I want to not have to go through something painful. So in the words of my sweet little neighbor, I am scared.